Name: Javid Moghaddasnia
Currently lives in: Providence
Occupation: Retail Business Management
Tell us about yourself.
I’m 27 years old, born and raised in Rhode Island, though I’ve spent some time away. I am half Iranian and the other half is primarily Irish. I grew up with a lot of Irish influences, but I’ve recently become intrigued with my Iranian side. I currently manage a popular retailer in Providence. Working in retail has its pros and cons, such as having an amazing closet but a tough work schedule.
How would your friends describe you?
My personality can be described as being an outgoing but not forward guy. I like to try new things, but more as an observer/participant rather than an instigator. I used to be a really shy person, but I’ve learned that taking risks and exploring have their rewards. I definitely have a sarcastic sense of humor and often use it as my main way of communication. I am very easy to get along with, and I’m the person who is happy if everyone else is happy and the person who puts others first.
How do you spend your weekends?
My interests are all over the board, from the arts (mainly dance and photography) to the gym (running and working out). I’ve recently found a passion for both cooking (I’ve mastered Brussels sprouts) and finding my own sense of style. Sadly you might find me working on the weekends, but when I’m not working I’m usually catching up with friends and always doing something different.
What’s something that people would be surprised to know about you?
Most people wouldn’t know that dance has been a huge part of my life. I started dance at 17, as soon as I could pay for my own classes, at a studio in Seekonk. I fell in love with the idea of communicating through movement and really committed myself to it. Eight years later I was dancing for a semi-professional ballet company based out of Lincoln as a principal dancer; these were some of my favorite years.
If someone is reading this story and wants to get to know you, what’s your advice to them on doing that?
I would tell them to get to know me as a person, more than as a potential candidate to date. I think people these days skip over that small step because they are so worried about finding someone. When I meet someone, I don’t want to feel like I’m on an interview. I find joy in the journey, and in the stages it takes to get to a place like that with someone.
A guy gets my attention with how he presents himself whether it’s his style, his personality, [or the length of his beard.] First impressions are important, and sometimes it’s not even the interaction with me that counts. I don’t want to be approached by someone who was has just been rude to the barista making their coffee. Someone who is well mannered, polite, and engaging is most likely to catch my eye.
I want people to know that there is a difference between being pretentious and being shy. When you see me out and I don’t walk up to you and introduce myself to you, its not because I don’t want to. It’s probably because I’m too shy. (Bear with me; it’s a work in progress.)
What’s your dating philosophy?
I honestly don’t know if I have a philosophy on dating yet I’m still trying to figure it out. It’s definitely trial and error, and you learn something new from each person. Sometimes the chemistry is amazing, but that certain someone is missing a few too many checkmarks on the “Ideal Person” list that you’ve had in your head for years. Sometimes they ace the list but are lacking in the connection.
I think it’s a lot harder to meet someone in the gay scene organically. I can’t go to a coffee shop, see an attractive guy and approach him, because well, it could end badly. Most often, I find myself on dating apps and connecting with people there. It isn’t my ideal, but it’s also sometimes where people can feel the most secure and comfortable to be themselves. I’m always comfortably approaching and initiating conversation with someone, and I think a lot of guys are like me.
Someone once told me that he saw me out one night, but didn’t approach me because he thought he didn’t have a chance. The funny thing is that I remember him catching my eye that same night, but I was too nervous to approach him. It’s kind of sad how many times it must happen, when two people are in the same place and find each other attractive, but nothing comes of it because both are too shy. The point is, you can’t wait for the other person to make the first move, because they might be waiting for you.
What’s your dealmaker/dealbreaker?
I am looking for a guy who is driven and goal oriented. He is going somewhere, and has his own personality and sense of style. The idea of traveling doesn’t scare him. I can grow with him, and better myself because of the person he is. He has to be willing to adapt to changes, because people change over time. I need to be a priority in his life, and I need to trust him. A deal breaker would be someone who is dishonest, even if it’s with himself. It’s never good to be with someone who makes you second-guess yourself either, so a sense of security is a must.
What’s your take on dating in Providence?
The dating scene in Providence might be small, but the gay scene is even smaller (yeah, imagine that). I can best relate the feeling to when you sign onto any online dating app and you scroll through “quick matches” and after only a few swipes you get an error message saying “running low on locals”! You can’t keep doing the same thing, and expect a different result. You have to branch out and try unconventional methods sometimes. Try going to a restaurant or café you haven’t been to before, or maybe take a different route to work in the morning.
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