Adventures In Dating

Dialing It Up

Learning the ropes of online dating


False Pretense Dating (n) – The act of portraying yourself as younger, thinner, cooler and/or sexier than you really are.

On behalf of the person you are going on said date with, this often leads to horror and dismay. Antonym: Actually being young, thin, cool and sexy.

Although I tend to think I’m a catch, I somehow found myself single at the age of thirty. With a defeated sigh, I created an online dating profile on OkCupid. I was instantly flooded with messages. There were messages from boys practically half my age: “Hey there, I’m looking for a cougar. You’re hot.” And, there were notes from men more than twice my age: “Hello miss, I realize I’m a bit older than what you’re looking for but I found you rather enchanting so figured I’d send a note.”

Against my better judgment, I set up some dates. There were a couple of friendships formed (great people, no spark) and a plethora of disappointment. (False. Pretense. Dating.) While I had fun, it was a bit exhausting. I’d rush home from work and – rather than do one of the many chores I knew I should be doing such as hitting the gym or folding laundry – I’d primp and preen for a date with Mr. Soon to Disappoint Me. My house became unkempt and my behind grew larger.

One day, I noticed that one of my suggested matches looked familiar. Upon closer inspection, I instantly realized where I recognized him from: he was the camera guy for a photo shoot I’d done a few months back. I had thought he was cute but he had barely spoken to me on set. Still, I bit the bullet; I sent him a message.

He remembered me too. In fact, he had thought I was attractive as well – however, he also thought that the male friend who accompanied me that day was my boyfriend. We had a laugh about how funny life can be; we wondered how many missed connections take place on a daily basis, as people are scared to take a chance and face rejection. While online dating may not have secured me a husband (yet), it introduced me to new friends and re-introduced me to someone I may have never again stumbled upon in “real life.”

Moral of my story? Hang in there. Online dating can be exhausting (and at times disappointing), but if at the end of it all, you meet someone special – it’s all been worth it.

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