Republican Congressman Steve King of Iowa spoke at Thursday's Conservative Political Action Conference and stirred the crowd with his fiery truth telling. Finally, someone had the courage and conviction to speak out against the communist menace of energy efficient lightbulbs. For too long these tiny flickers of anti-Americanism have been allowed to spark throughout our land, lighting the way for pinko commies, secret Muslims, tax-and-spend Democrats, liberal Nazis, vegetarians and other terrorist groups to wash away our God-given liberties using the slow, corrosive trickle of nanny state tyranny from their low-flow showerheards "I want my liberty back," King bravely declared.
According to TheHill.com:
King compared the Capitol Hill janitors who replaced the lightbulbs in his office with lower-energy bulbs to the East German communist secret police, describing them as "Nancy [Pelosi]'s Stasi troops," and complained of a water-saving showerhead in his shower.
It's about time someone spoke out on this peril to our liberty. Liberals argue that energy efficient lightbulbs like LED (Light Emitting Diode, or as I like to call it, Liberty Eroding Disaster) and CFL (Compact Flourescent Light, or more accurately, Commie Friggin' Losers) save money over time as compared to traditional incandescent bulbs (the mom, baseball and apple pie of home illumination) and are better for the environment. They've even gone so far as to mandate that incandescents (the same kind our Founding Fathers would have used) be 30% more efficient starting this year. This amounts to nothing less than a full-on War on Liberty, threatening not just our desk lamps, but our entire way of life. We wouldn't stand for it if Hitler said he just needed to conquer 30% of Europe would we? What if Obama bin President dictated that 30% of America be governed by Shariah Law? What if his fascist health care plan called for 30% of our senior citizens to be summarily executed by doctors?
Of course, Nancy Pelosi and her Eco Storm Troopers aren't going to tell you the real facts about energy efficient bulbs:
Fact: CFL bulbs and recycling bins were both found in Osama Bin Laden's Pakistan compound during the raid that killed him.
Fact: Hitler would have required all German homes to use LED or CFL bulbs if they had been invented then.
Fact: Energy efficient lightbulbs are making your children gay.
Fact: 86% of all abortions are performed on 13-year-old girls in illegal, back-alley clinics lit by LED or CFL bulbs.
Fact: America is the greatest country in the world and that path to greatness has been illuminated by incandescent light.
In short, we all owe Rep. King a debt of gratitude for his courageous opposition to this Communist-Fascist Crypto-Muslim Liberal Nazi Menace.