The Malcontent

The Malcontent: Take Us Out to the Ballgame

Last month it was announced that officials in Central Falls and Providence both engaged in preliminary discussions to bring Major League Soccer’s New England Revolution to Rhode Island. I, for …

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Last month it was announced that officials in Central Falls and Providence both engaged in preliminary discussions to bring Major League Soccer’s New England Revolution to Rhode Island. I, for one, wholeheartedly support this and/or any other plan for a professional franchise from any major sport in our state. Further, the entire affair should be rife with corruption, fiscal irresponsibility and poor management so that Little Rhody might finally root, root, root for a home team that truly represents us.

Imagine the possibilities: sweetheart deals in smoke-filled backrooms; brash economic gambles that can’t possibly pay off; a poorly financed stadium construction project that not only runs vastly over budget and behind schedule, but also callously disrupts the fabric of a neighborhood that is powerless to stop it; and, of course, my favorite part: a dysfunctional cast of tyrants, miscreants, scoundrels, egomaniacs, eccentrics, junkies, shysters, overpaid hired guns and born losers to keep things interesting (if not successful) both on the field and in the front offices.

Given Rhode Island’s stellar track record of investments in professional athletes, this one is a no-brainer. Local sports are undergoing a mini-resurgence, what with PC the reigning Big East basketball champs, a new generation of Red Sox talent developing in Pawtucket and the P-Bruins doing... whatever it is they do, but I’m sure it’s worthy of enthusiasm.

Whether we successfully lure the Revolution south; poach a poorly run, cravenly opportunistic team like the Miami Marlins; or score the rights to an expansion team destined for futility, the time has come. I can already taste the $17 ‘Gansetts.

Oh, and no matter what franchise we wind up with from which sport, I’ve got three words for you: Carmelo. F--- ing. Anthony.